I think the past events haunted me is actually my sorrow. I twisted it by insisting of being treated unfairly. I revisited the events frequently and acted like the crazy men that I had mentioned. My adrenaline came up and it refueled the next re-run of my sorrow. I guess that is what "Dukka" (suffering) all about. The "unsatisfaction" drove my crazy sorrow.
I decided to call my friend today and deliver a apology of my previous behavior. I am not sure we could be friends anymore but my "crazy sorrow" is somewhat relived by talking about it. I guess I must have had lots of affection to her that I repeated the arguments several years ago.
There are other "sorrow" that I couldn't call to resolve. There are sorrows about being lied to repeatedly. There are sorrows about being extremely rude. It is not about being right or wrong but about ceasing to play a drama in my head again.
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